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For a wide variety of reasons, many of us find ourselves alone for the holidays. With the emphasis on families and being with others, the holidays can be an especially lonely and trying time, even for those of us who are usually okay being on our own. But don’t worry, there are many things you can do to make the holidays a little less lonely when you’re alone.

 1. De-mythologize and adjust expectations. Elaine Rodino, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in Santa Monica, Calif., says there are so many categories of expectations about the season being just right that it brings up all sorts of issues relating to family, stress and anxiety, eating disorders, sobriety, self-esteem, competency — the list goes on. “There’s this idea that it’s supposed to be perfect, and if it’s not, the person asks, ‘What’s wrong with me?'” She adds that statistically, the number of “traditional households” in this country is not in the majority.
2. Pick up the phone. Call friends and ask to be included in whatever they’re doing. Rodino suggests offering to bring a dish or seeing how you can contribute to the gathering. She says most people love opening their homes and expanding the celebration. It works for everyone.
3. Be proactive. Create an “alternative family” made up of people whose company you enjoy. Plan and prepare a potluck feast if you like. Remember that you are not alone in being alone during the holidays. Get together with others and have some fun.
4. Plan an outing. Go on a hike, or go to the movies, a park or a museum. Enjoy the outing with your group or by yourself.
5. Pamper yourself. Treat yourself to a day of beauty at a spa, get a massage or find some other special way to luxuriate. Do whatever you enjoy doing.
6. Reach out. “Build bridges the rest of the year, and cross them during the holidays,” said Craig Ellison, Ph.D., author of Saying Goodbye to Loneliness and Finding Intimacy. If you can’t be with family or loved ones during this time of the year, send them letters or e-mails or call them — in other words, reach out to them.
7. Remember your bonds and blessings. Pull out photo albums and read old letters. While this may be bittersweet, Ellison says it’s “not toxic.” If possible, get on the phone and talk with loved ones who are still living.
8. Help others. Volunteering at a mission or shelter for the homeless will help you feel connected. Ellison suggests that you participate in activities with this organization at other times of the year, not just on one day of the year. This will make the experience more fulfilling. Rodino says volunteering at a soup kitchen gives you a healthy perspective. “There’s nothing like that for slapping you back to realizing how well you are,” Rodino noted.
9. Travel. If you have the finances, get away for a few days. Go skiing or take a tropical holiday. Singles groups often have tour groups during the holidays. Rodino says this gets you out of the traditional holiday mindset.
10. Get through the day. If you’re unable to do any of these things, Rodino tells her patients to just get through it. Read. Sleep. Rent a video. And remember, tomorrow it’ll all be over.
The holidays can be a lonely time, but that doesn’t mean you have to feel alone. Stay focused on acknowledging and meeting your needs, and you’ll be surprised at how quickly the holidays are over.

 

 

 

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Local News

  • Local Citizens & Law Enforcement Team Up For Earth Day Trash Clean-Up Saturday Between Aberdeen and Pinehurst +

    More than three dozen local residents and law enforcement officers turned out Saturday morning for a large roadside trash clean Read More
  • Flood Watch Issued For Region From Tonight Until Tuesday Morning +

    FLOOD WATCH IN EFFECT FROM MIDNIGHT EDT TONIGHT THROUGH TUESDAY MORNING Read More
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Crime Reports

  • Sheriff Neil Godfrey Announced The Arrest Of Aberdeen Woman For Providing Contraband To A Moore County Inmate +

    Sheriff Neil Godfrey announced the arrest of Faith Mather for providing contraband to a Moore County inmate. Read More
  • Sheriff Godfrey Announces The Arrest Of Jesse Nelson And Patricia Corbin For The Physical Abuse Of Corbin’s Child +

    Sheriff Neil Godfrey announced the arrest of Jesse Nelson and Patricia Corbin for the physical abuse of Corbin’s child. Read More
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Obituaries

  • Christopher Logan Futrell of Southern Pines Obituary +

    Christopher Logan Futrell, 28 of Southern Pines passed away on April 22, 2017 at FirstHealth Moore Regional Hospital in Pinehurst. Read More
  • Virginia Dowd Of Carthage Obituary +

    Virginia Dowd, age 90 of Carthage died Thursday (April 20, 2017) at FirstHealth Hospice House in Pinehurst. Read More
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Accident & Fire

  • Three Injured In Single Vehicle Accident Outside Of Carthage Saturday Night +

    Three people were injured with one of the passengers trapped in the SUV after a single vehicle accident outside of Read More
  • One Lane Of 24/27 Blocked By Two Vehicle Accident Outside Carthage Friday Afternoon +

    A two vehicle accident temporarily trapped the driver of a passenger car and blocked one lane of traffic west of Read More
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